I hated how much my 12-year-old played Roblox, so we built our own FPS

This is either the most wholesome tech story I've ever heard or the most unhinged dad revenge project in gaming. A father of two—ages 7 and 12—watched his kids get sucked into Roblox Rivals. Tried blocking it. Tried timers. Tried limits. Daily battle, lose-lose situation. So he did what any rational parent would do: he flipped the problem. Instead of fighting what they loved, he leaned into it. Instead of just letting them play an FPS, he built one WITH them. His kids became the PMs. Claude became his engineer. And somehow, impossibly, they shipped a whole free-for-all browser FPS in what he describes as shockingly fast time.

Cooked House Games is a first-person shooter that runs directly in your browser—no downloads, no installs, just show up and shoot. It has bots if you want to practice, weapon test ranges with unlimited ammo, private rooms you can join by sharing a simple word with friends, loadout customization, skins, leaderboards, and mobile aim assist so your phone can actually compete with mouse players. It even has VAD-based voice chat that only transmits when you're actually talking. This is a fully functioning FPS with actual features, built by one dad who decided that if he couldn't beat Roblox, he'd co-opt it.

Was this spawned from pure parental rage? Absolutely. Is it working? His kids are now building the product with him instead of just consuming it, which is either genius or chaos—probably both. No funding announced, no headcount, no revenue yet. But there's something undeniably funny about a man who looked at a $2 billion gaming empire and said "hold my beer, I'm going to build my own FPS with my kids and Claude." The gaming industry has never been more wholesome.